Cheeseburgers

I really only stayed in KL for a few days. Just long enough to get a haircut, a few summery clothes and a pedicure and then I was off to paradise. When I'd started planning my holidays, one of the first thoughts I'd had was that I needed to decompress a little. I needed to get away. Like, really get away. I did a little research and found this.

Now, I've travelled alone before. I spent a month on my own in Europe and had no regrets. It's one thing to be alone in big cities, but I had some concern about how I could cope somewhere isolated. We all spend a certain amount of time alone...on the commute to work, an hour here or there running errands or that space of time before a partner gets home. I can only speak for myself, but I think that the idea of loneliness, or being alone, comes in part at those times when we see ourselves through other peoples eyes. Moments when we are perfectly okay with our own company but socially, it is unconventional not to be with someone. It's the reason why, left to your own devices for a night, we order in rather than go out. It's the reason some people feel uncomfortable at a movie alone. Seeing ourselves through others eyes, we are suddenly aware of the lack of what is not there. At home with a Pizza Hut, we're content. Out by ourselves at Pizza Hut, we're self-conscious and self-aware.

This is easier to manage in a city. Walking along busy streets, we are but one of many individuals. At meals, well, my budget tends to preclude me from any high end restaurants and nobody thinks twice about someone grabbing a quick bite on their own.

Pangkor offers no anonymity whatsoever. Within a day, I recognized most of the people staying there. I quickly developed a routine :

-banana pancakes and coffee
-check internet
-long walk through jungle
-pinapple on a stick
-walk on beach, read on beach, swim, sleep on beach, in no particular order
-shower and nap
-dinner
-read on balcony until tired

and it didn't vary at all. Quite clearly, I was alone during all of these activities. I had expected that it would feel painfully so. It didn't.

Maybe I just really did need to get away that bad. Maybe it was the anticipation that carried through what would otherwise have felt awkward. Maybe it was magic; it certainly felt so. Quite simply, it was paradise.

In fact, the only moment I found myself really wanting company was when I managed to anger a Mommy monkey by taking a picture of her baby. And let's be honest. With visions of rabies dancing through your head, who wouldn't be wanting some companionship; hopefully standing a few feet in front of you.